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Hey, Son, I love you, too<br><br>嘿，儿子，我也爱你<br><br><br>If I wanted to, I could come up with a dozen excuses. I was tired after a long day of work. Or maybe I was hungry. The simple truth is, when I walked into the living room and my 12-year-old son looked up at me and said. "I love you," I didn't know what to say. For several long seconds all I could do was standing there and staring down at him, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He must need help with his homework was my first thought. Or he's going to hit me up for an advance on his allowance. Or he's assassinated his brother---I always knew it would happen someday---and he's trying to prepare me gently for the news. Finally I asked, "What do you want?" He laughed , and started to run from the room. But I called him back. "Hey, what was that all about?" I demanded. "Nothing," he said, grinning, "My health teacher said we should tell our parents that we love them and see what they say. It's sort of an experiment."<br><br> 如果我愿意的话，我可以找出成打的理由：忙了一整天累了，或者我饿了。可一个简单的事实是，当我走进客厅，12岁的儿子仰头看着我说"我爱你"时，我却无言以对。在那漫长的几秒钟里，我不知所措，只是站在那里盯着儿子等待着他的下文。我的第一个想法是他肯定需要我帮助他做功课，或者他想要我提前给他零花钱，或者他把他兄弟给杀了--我早知道这迟早有一天会发生的--他现在是以温和的方式让我对这个消息有所准备。最后我问他："你想要什么？"他大笑着从厅里跑了出去。但我把他叫了回来。"嘿，到底是怎么回事？"我追问他。"没什么。"他笑着回答。"我的健康课老师说我们应该告诉父母亲我们爱他们并瞧瞧他们会说什么。这是一种试验。"<br><br> The next day I called his teacher to find out more about this "experiment." And, to be truthful, to find out how the other parents had reacted. "Basically, most of the fathers had the same reaction you did," my son's teacher said. "When I first suggested we try this, I asked the kids what they thought heir parents would say. They all laughed. A couple of them figured their folks would have heart attacks. "Some parents, I suspect, resented what the teacher had done. After all, a junior-high-school health teacher's job is to teach children how to eat balanced diets and brush their teeth properly. What does saying "I love you" have to do with that? It is, after all, a personal thing between parents and their children, nobody else's business. "The point is," the teacher explained, "feeling loved is an important part of health. It's something all human beings require. What I'm trying to tell the kids is that it's too bad we don't all express those feelings. Not just parents to children and not just boys to girls. A boy should be able to tell his buddy that he loves him."<br><br> 第二天我给他的老师打了个电话以进一步了解这个"试验"。说实活，也想知道别的家长们的反应。"大部分父亲的反应基本上和你的差不多。"我儿子的老师告诉我。"与我最初提出这个试验时，我问孩子们他们认为他们的父母会作何反应，他们轰然大笑。有几个觉得他们的父母会突发心脏病。"我怀疑有的父母会抱怨老师的这种做法。毕竟，一个初中健康课的老师是教孩子们如何保持营养平衡及正确刷牙的。对父母说"我爱你"跟这些有何相干呢？这应该是属于父母和孩子们之间的私事。与别人无关呀。而他的老师则解释说："关键在于感到爱就是人的健康的一个重要部分。爱是所有人都需求的。我可要告诉孩子们的是：如果我们不会表达爱，那可是很糟糕的事情。爱的表达不应仅仅限于父母对孩子以及男孩对女孩。一个男孩也应该能告诉他的好朋友他爱他。"<br><br> The teacher, a middle-aged man, understands how difficult it is for some of us to say the things that would be good for us to say. His father never said those things to him, he admits. And he never said them to his father---not even when his father was about to die. There are a lot of us like that. Men and women, who were raised by parents who loved us but never really said so. It is a common reason for the way many of us behave.<br><br> 这个老师，一个中年男子，知道对我们有些人来说表达出对我们本有益的情感是多么困难的事情。他承认他的父亲就从来不对他说这类话，而他也从没向父亲表述过，哪怕在他父亲临终之前也没说。我们许多人都是这样。我们的父母爱我们，把我们抚养大，但却从不用言语表达他们的爱，也因此我们许多人形成了这种习惯。<br><br> But as an excuse it is starting to wear thin. Our generation has devoted a great deal of attention to getting in touch with our feelings and verbalizing our emotions. We know, or should know, that our children---sons as well as daughters---need more from us than food on the table and clothes in the closet. We know, or should know, that a father's kiss will fit as comfortably on the cheek of a son as on that of a daughter.<br><br> 但这种理由现己慢慢站不住脚了。我们这一代人很注重感情的交流及表达。我们知道，或者应该知道，我们的孩子，儿子也好，女儿也好，都不仅需要我们使他们在饭桌上有食物，在衣柜中有衣服。我们知道，或者应该知道，父亲的亲吻不仅会给儿子也同样会给女儿带来快慰。<br><br> So when my son came to me that evening for his bed-time kiss---a kiss that seems to be getting briefer every night---I held on to him for an extra second. And just before he pulled away, I said in my deepest, most manly voice, "hey, I love you too." I don't know if saying that made either of us healthier, but it did feel pretty good. Maybe next time when one of my kids says, "I love you," it won't take me a whole day to think of the right answer.<br><br> 所以当天晚上，当我儿子来向我做睡前吻别时--他的吻似乎一晚比一晚更匆忙了事了--我特意多抱了他一会。就在他抽身走开前，我用最深沉、最富有男子汉气的声音对儿子说："嘿，我也爱你。"我不知道说这个能否促进我们的健康，但确实让我觉得很好。也许下次当某个儿子对我说"我爱你"时，我就不用在一整天的工夫去琢磨如何回答了。<br> |
狗仔卡
发表于 10.8.2003 10:48:31
显身卡
楼主
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