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经典搞笑,人生路

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发表于 15.6.2005 08:26:06 | 只看该作者
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还是从俺出生时说起吧,上个世纪的某一天,俺降生了<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />虽然那时还比较穷,但俺出生时也是浑身名牌货<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-1.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-1.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-1.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />小时候我是既贪吃……<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-2.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-2.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-2.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />又贪睡……<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-3.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-3.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-3.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />还爱搞恶作剧……<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-4.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-4.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-4.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />俺在被窝里常听奶奶讲“七仙女”“白蛇传”的故事,这是俺受到的关于爱情的启蒙教育。虽然还是很懵懂,但也就是从这个时候起,爱情的种子已经在俺的幼小的心灵里萌芽了<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-2.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-2.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-2.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />在一次运动会上,俺第一次认识了和俺同校但不同班的小红,并且马上爱上了她,这可能就是人们所说的一见钟情吧<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-3.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-3.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-3.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />着一次“邂逅相遇”的机会,俺把俺的心思告诉了她,其实这个机会是俺酝酿了大半年才等来的:),没想到小红没有理解俺的一片苦心,根本不领俺的这份“情”<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-4.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-4.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-4.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />从那以后俺整天就象掉了魂儿似的,时时盯她的梢<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-5.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-5.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-5.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />上课也不能专心听讲<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-6.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-6.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-6.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />尽管她对俺挺冷淡,但俺并不灰心,俺相信精诚所至金玉为开只要工夫深铁棒磨成针、只要脸皮厚美眉泡到手的道理,于是俺每天放学时坚持把她送回家(俺用的这招叫“声东击西”,欲得MM爱,先得丈母娘的欢心。怎么样,俺还算高手吧?)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-7.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-7.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-7.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />经过俺长期的不懈努力,她对俺有点好感了,开始向俺请教算术题(谢天谢地,幸亏她比俺还笨,俺才有了这样的机会:)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-8.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-8.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-8.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />终于有一天,俺们有了第一次的单独约会……(想看什么啊,没见过谈恋爱的啊)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-9.gif--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-9.gif' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-9.gif' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />为了请她吃顿肯得鸡.......................我................做了一星期的模特<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-10.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-10.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-10.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />可好景不长,俺们刚确立恋爱关系不久,文化大革命就开始了<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-11.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-11.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-11.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />俺和小红同时参加了红卫兵,并响应毛主席的号召去了农村(不去不行啊)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-12.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-12.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-12.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />因为在学校时俺没好好学习(当时不是光顾着追小红嘛),所以在农村除了《毛选》俺什么书也不看(也看不懂:)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-13.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-13.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-13.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />但考试时的感觉还是很好的,偶尔也有收获<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-6.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-6.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-6.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />而小红却在暗地里偷偷学习文化课(俺真后悔那时候没和她一块学,一来嘛--啊,二来嘛--啊,哈哈,大家自然明白啦)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-14.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-14.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-14.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />小红还经常锻炼身体<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-5.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-5.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-1-5.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />农村真不是人呆的地方,这不,没两年,小红就长得和冬瓜一个模样了:( <br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-15.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-15.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/1-15.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />俺这个二十来岁的小伙子也未老先衰,弄得象半截老头似的 <br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />还学会了喝酒,但我听医生的话,每顿只喝一杯<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1-1.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1-1.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1-1.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />小红的努力终于得到了回报,恢复高考后她考上了大学<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-2.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-2.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-2.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />而俺不得不继续留在农村接受贫下中农的再教育。没有了小红的日子俺的心里特别失落,就在俺情绪极端低沉的时候,村里有个叫小芳的姑娘看上了俺,她是支书的女儿<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-3.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-3.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-3.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />这个书包是小芳亲手做了送俺的,这里面的意思俺当然明白,是鼓励俺“扎根”农村。<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-4.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-4.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-4.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />可俺还是恋着小红,晚上睡觉时最想……俺对农村怎么也喜欢不起来,对小芳也爱不起来,不过,俺还是很感谢她的,谢谢她给俺的爱,陪俺度过那个年代。<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1-2.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1-2.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-1-2.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />人们总爱骂背叛爱情的人是“负心汉”,其实世上也有很多“忘情女”,小红就是其中的一个!俺最担心的事终于发生了,真是古有秦香莲遭遇陈世美,今有小红甩了俺思绪飘飞,命苦哇<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-5.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-5.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-5.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />到这个消息,俺真是恶从胆边生,气不打一处来,俺发誓要报复<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-6.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-6.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-6.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />不过等俺冷静下来,俺终于想明白了,小红之所以甩了俺,原因都在俺身上,谁让俺不求上进只是个普通农民来着。于是俺决心洗心革面,混出个人样来让小红看看,俺决心把失去的小红再夺回来,于是俺利用小芳的关系走了他爹的后门参了军(当然俺也付出了两瓶散酒,一条大丰收香烟的代价,另外俺还付出了其它代价俺在这里就不好意思说了)<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-7.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-7.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-7.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />可是俺的一番努力并没有再次赢得小红的心,不久俺就得到了她结婚的消息<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-8.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-8.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-8.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />那时候俺还小人之心地抱着一线希望,就是昐着她和她丈夫感情不好以后离婚,但后来听说她婚后很幸福<br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-9.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-9.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-9.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br />俺觉得天已经塌了下来,俺真是万念俱灰,既然得不到最爱的人真是生不如死,于是俺决定为小红殉情…… <br /><!--Image http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-10.jpg--><a href='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-10.jpg' target='_blank'><img src='http://depart.hebust.edu.cn/depart/waterbar/jcmw/j20020630pic/2-10.jpg' border='0' alt='用户发表的图象' onload='javascript:if(this.width>(screen.width*0.8-400)) this.width=(screen.width*0.8-400)'></a><!--End Image--><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
2#
发表于 18.6.2005 05:28:08 | 只看该作者
<!--emo&(y)--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbs_up.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='thumbs_up.gif' /><!--endemo-->  <!--emo&(y)--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbs_up.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='thumbs_up.gif' /><!--endemo-->  <!--emo&(y)--><img src='style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbs_up.gif' border='0' style='vertical-align:middle' alt='thumbs_up.gif' /><!--endemo-->
3#
发表于 18.6.2005 11:59:17 | 只看该作者
4#
发表于 19.6.2005 13:12:21 | 只看该作者
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