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1.<br />Math Class <br />Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math <br />problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.. <br />"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot <br />one with your gun, how many would be left ?" <br />"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away." <br />"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. <br />"But I like the way you are thinking." <br /><br />Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were <br />three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one licking her cone, <br />the second biting her cone, and the third one sucking her cone, which <br />one is married? <br />Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone?" <br /><br />"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her <br />finger. <br />But I like the way you are thinking..<br /><br /><br /><br />2.<br />Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest?" <br />Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast <br />tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn't <br />forget. <br />The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, <br />always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your <br />mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." <br />Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks <br />later, Johnny's dad comes home from work a few hours early. <br />Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, <br />"Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's <br />dying?" <br />"Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy's balloons and she's screaming 'Oh <br />God, I'm coming!"<br /><br /><br />3.<br />The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church. <br /><br />One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. <br /><br />He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church. <br /><br />During mass, he asked his congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?' All the men stood up. <br /><br />'No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up. <br /><br />'No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?? Half the women stood up ! <br /><br />'No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is, has anybody seen MY cock?' <br /><br />Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. |
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狗仔卡
发表于 24.6.2007 20:20:17
显身卡
